Changes

So here’s the thing, kids.

In the past year, I – a woman once known for her inability to plan beyond her next round of Bionic Commando, let alone make life goals (such as never, ever telling people you once played Bionic Commando) – have made plans, and actually stuck to them. What? Huh? Who? How?

That’s right.

Q1 2008: Get name changed. Check!

Q2: 2008: Start hormones and begin removal of Testosteroni (the original San Francisco treat. That’s right, I’m not above stealing from Chandler Bing, so suck it.) Check!

Q3 2008: Begin modified regimen of exercises and continue increasingly draconian dietary modifications in an attempt to maintain weight loss and sanity while hormones visit Puberty 2.0 upon me. Check! And stop looking at me like you think my shirt is ugly! <insert random sobbing>

Q4: Prepare for first surgery, the orchiectomy, which is the big rock in my Seven Habits of Highly Annoying People jar (two rocks, actually, har, har, choke, gasp, wheeze).

Amazingly, I’m on target. Sure, my financial understanding remains roughly on par with that of a mercury-poisoned tree sloth. Sure, I still get clocked on occasion (depending on what I’m wearing, mostly), and sure, the hormone-induced craziness and physical whirlwind are a challenge, especially when combined with the face-searing George Forman Electrolysis and Low-Fat Grilling Machine.

But this is what I signed up for! This is me, grabbing the wheel of the ship of life from its previous owner (a one-eyed guy who smelled like rum and Sucrets) and becoming the captain of my own freaking destiny!

This is me, sailing into the rocks!

But at least they’re MY rocks, and I welcome their stony embrace!

What about you? How goes your year? Where are you in your journey? How annoying is it when people ask you “where are you in your journey?” Because that pisses me off something FIERCE.

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One Response

  1. speaking of bionic commando have you seen this?

    and of course the more classic look remake for arcade:

    enjoy! 😀

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