Tour de Farce™ Week 2: The Road to Nowhere

Epic, isn't it?

Well, kids, we’ve reached the end of another leg in my epic journey to cross the US on my exercise bike. This week finds me in…uh…the middle of nowhere. Well, not quite “nowhere,” but damn close. I missed a workout this week (today’s actually) – I think I was so surprised by the gentle song playing on the alarm clock’s radio that I just drifted back into sleep. Normally, I select a Clear Channel “contemporary” station, knowing whatever, ahem, “wacky” team they’ve got on the AM shift will wrench me from slumber and force me to flee the bedroom for the bike. Today, however, I was greeted by a gentle blend of saxophone and flute – I had inadvertently left the radio set to 106.5 (“Smooth Jazz for the Miami Valley“)! As a result, I didn’t get up until 4, and had to skip the workout in order to keep my schedule intact. Ah, well, into every life a little Spiceland must fall, I suppose.

MILES BIKED THIS WEEK: 31 (7.75 miles/day, Monday-Thursday)

TOTAL MILES BIKED SO FAR: 69 (insert your own “is that a tandem bike?” joke here)

WHERE I WOULD BE IF THIS BIKE HAD WHEELS: Just down the road from Hartley Truck Parts, outside Spiceland, Indiana.

This week’s pedaling brought me to the intersection of I-70 and Rt. 3/125 in Indiana, where fans of fields, junkyards, and more fields will have a ball. Had I not missed this morning’s ride, I might’ve made it as far as a slightly different configuration of fields and pavement. I should have made the effort: hanging out in Spiceland, it appears, may be hazardous to your health (and afterlife).

Did I mention Indiana is gigantic, boring and full of crops and the people who love to grow them?

I may have to up my daily mileage…at this rate, I will be old and grey (or at least grey) by the time I hit Illinois.

4 Responses

  1. You need never be grey. That is what haircolor is for, my love.

  2. Getting up at 4 is sleeping in for you? God almighty!

  3. @Tara: Aww, thanks, Tara! Can I schedule an appointment?

    @Sra: Well, three days a week I go over to a friend’s house to babysit her children so she can go to the gym. I have to be there at 5, so I have to begin getting ready by 4…which means getting up at 3 so I can do my workout before THAT. All of which means I go sleepy-bye around 9 PM on Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays.

    The upside is that having this task forces me to follow my own schedule and be a grownup (kinda) about my workouts and daily routines. The downside is that, because I’m all elderly and cronish now, anything less than six hours of sleep makes me as useful as a screen door on a submarine.

  4. My submarine had a little doggy door. Weird, because we only had pet ferrets. No screen door though.

    3 AM is about when I get to bed. Of course, I don’t get up until about 9:30-10, so there’s an upside. All of my best thinking comes after 10PM. Morning is for suckers.

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