Tour De Farce™ Week 4: Bullets, Beer and Biking

Epic, isn't it?

I knew I should've brought my body armor.

I knew I should've brought my body armor.

Well, well, well. Here we are again, kids, at the end of another week of my plan to visit the land of sand and decaffeinated beverages via exercise bike. Amazingly, I’ve been at this for a month, and I’ve actually managed to stick with it (due in no small part to my grim determination to finally drag my virtual carcass across the Indiana state line). OK, onto the important stuff:

MILES BIKED THIS WEEK: 40 (8.0 miles/day, Monday-Friday)

TOTAL MILES BIKED SO FAR: 149

WHERE I WOULD BE IF THIS BIKE HAD WHEELS: Just north of Cloverdale, IN

What can one say about scenic Cloverdale, Indiana? Does it have an airport? Nope, that’s over in Greencastle. How about the local County Sheriff’s Department? Nope, that’s Greencastle again. How about any sort of entertainment, in any form, other than drinking oneself to death and/or attending Al-Anon meetings? No, ladies and gentlemen, if you find yourself in Cloverdale this weekend, you have what may be charitably described as “somewhat limited” entertainment options.

However, there is one place that, in this sleepy little burg where an American Girl “Penny Pincher” party is the must-attend outing of the summer, attracts the attention of all the bored, tipsy, and heavily armed locals: The Cloverdale Conservation Club.

While there’s absolutely no conduct unbecoming a Gentleman permitted, a cursory examination of the grounds seems to indicate that the conservation mentioned in the club’s name is of the Ted Nugent variety.

Still, you have to give them credit for battling poachers…and for allowing Yoda into their club. At the bottom of their web site’s main page, “poacher a in turn” you can, young Jedi.

While there’s nothing specifically “straight and narrow” about the club’s site (other than, you know, the content, look, feel and overall air of straightness and narrowness), I decided that perhaps riding through the club’s wooded paths would be an adventure better left to others. This helmet ain’t bulletproof, kids.

Coming up next week: Weaver, Illinois, and whatever magical powers one may attain from crossing over into The Land of Obama!

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2 Responses

  1. I was starting to think we had lost you in a puff of cookie perfection! What a horrid week it was not hearing your virtual voice in my ear! Ghastly, even!!

    I mean, uh, nice work on the bike riding and all. Keep up the good work and all that.

  2. Aww, thanks, Tara. It was a hellish week…my day job suffered a total network outage, and since all the computers are my babies, I had my hands full with angry, confused and inconsolable people.

    However, the crisis seems to have passed with the restoration of the network shares (or at least most of them), so I’m sure I’ll have plenty of new crap with which to scald the eyes this week!

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